i miss you

Sometimes leaving one place means leaving some familiar things behind, but it could also mean coming back to something you've missed for so long. What have I missed about home?

•Friends


•Caesars


•Tostitos Chips


•My room and my bed


•Tazmon


And of course I will miss many things from Hamburg, like:

•Friends



•Cheap alcohol


•Traveling


•Pinky's banglai food


•Party everyday


The lists could go on and on, but either way I will be coming home very soon. And after that, trying my hardest to come back to Europe again as soon as possible.

Lovvvee, xoxo

where to start?

This will probably be (close to) one of my last blog posts via Hamburg, Germany. And where to begin? My mind is consumed with so many emotions, ideas, feelings, memories, thoughts, stresses, sadness and happiness.

Lets start with the sad.

The obvious being that I will soon be leaving this place that I have come to love and know. I can't even explain how much this experience has changed me. So I won't. But I will say that everything, the good and the bad, that has been part of living in Hamburg has been the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

---

It is disturbingly amazing how quickly things can happen...

Tragedy in Duisburg yesterday. The 'Love Parade' that is meant to be a celebration of joy and peace turned the opposite when chaos broke in a crowded tunnel towards the entrance of the festival. Hundreds injured. At least 19 dead. I am glad that those I know who attended the festival are safe. I am thinking of all of you.


I had unfortunately only the briefest opportunities to meet a young man from Kelowna who sadly passed away this Monday. I had the chance to meet him through some very close friends and from what I have heard, known, and experienced, this man was none other than a kind, funny, life-loving human who went all too soon. I am speechless. My thoughts are with all of those who held him dear. May you rest in peace Cole Barr, 25.


I received an e-mail today from my Mother. Although I expected it to be a regular e-mail with updates and kind wishes, it turned out to be very scary. Yesterday she went for a bike ride, and while she was attempting to stop, her foot got caught in the bike pedal. Before she had time to free her foot she had already fell. She broke her leg in three different places and dislocated her ankle. She is currently in the hospital, wait-listed for surgery to insert plates and screws to keep her bones together. She will have to be 'non-weight bearing' for six weeks. This will be the end of her summer holidays, and I feel completely helpless for not being there. Thankfully, she was wearing a helmet.


It is amazing how quickly things can happen.

---

On a better note the past month has been a whirlwind of experience and discovery. The main events being that I went with some good friends to the Fusion Festival. Unlike any festival I have ever been to; and this one definitely takes the cake. Filled with care-free people, amazing music and delicious food! All but relaxation. Next was Stockholm/Copenhagen/London. If I ever decide to take on my Masters I would want nothing than to study in Stockholm, Sweden. Everything about this place is amazing and beautiful and friendly and open. I suggest taking the opportunity one day to go there, trust me. And Copenhagen was as well amazing. Everything that I have experienced about Scandinavia this short trip has made me fall in love. In London I met up with my dear friend Emma, who sadly I will not be seeing again for a very long time (Europe trip 2011?). But on our last day together in Hamburg we recorded a short, collaboration performance that I believe really describes our individual experiences in Germany as well as our experiences together. Love you.


School. In all honesty, school turned out to be a bit of a dud. I learnt some things here and there but for the most part the language was the biggest struggle, and it is not easy to have the motivation to go to a class that has a professor who will not make any effort to speak English to you. However, I still enjoyed the parts that I did at HAW and I am excited to show what I have created here in Germany.


So. Here I am now at my computer, snacking on a strange combination of wasa bread with tomato cheese spread and a jar of olives, and wondering how the hell I am going to get all of my stuff in to my suitcase. Option: mail a box to Canada? I hope Deutsche Post doesn't fail. I will be home by the end of the week.

----

Although everything that has happened during my stay here may either be happy or sad, I believe that the only way to deal with the bad things in life is to try to put the past behind (as difficult as that is to do sometimes), that if you can't change it don't worry about trying to, and to simply be there for each other. The ones you love and care about. That's all we can do.


Today is my birthday. But it isn't that I am now a year older that makes me feel different.

It is right here, in Hamburg.


Love, Nicole
xoxo

smile.

I'm soooo happy because this past weekend I got to see Karin for the first time in about 4 months! The only person other than my mother to see me off at the airport before leaving Canada :) She even brought me back a little present that I SUPER appreciated because it is only Canadian. Classic that is...wink* It is so nice to see a (more than) familiar face in such an unfamiliar place. On Thursday we will make our way to FUSION festival!! (http://www.fusion-festival.de/ if you want to know more) So excited! I had no idea about this festival until Karin offered me an extra ticket she had bought while we were in Canada, and I thought why not?! Turns out it sounds even more awesome the more people I talk to about it. The tickets even sold out in a VERY short period of time! So I will be gone from Thursday until Sunday.

I'm not exactly sure what will happen after that but I may go to Berlin after Canada Day to see Sophia who is doing her internship there. I'm hoping to get a better impression of Berlin than I did the first time I went in early March: cold, bitter, miserable ice-land of loneliness and frozen hands. HA! Anyhow, we will see because I am still waiting on a money loan/transfer from the parents...please oh please come soon! I did manage however to book a cheap flight through ryanair to Stockholm yesterday (14 euro), now I just need to find a place to stay. Hopefully couchsurfing can help me out. Crossing my fingers.

After waiting an absurd 7 days for my film to be developed, it finally came back to the Budni (the drugstore I usually get my film developed at for around 5 euro). And to my frusterated surprise I found that each of the three films I dropped off were priced at 18 euro each! EACH! That is about 60 euro for THREE rolls of film! I was convinced that there had to have been some kind of mistake. The envelope felt a little heavier than it normally does so I looked inside to find that there was a large bundle of plastic slide carriers...I found a sales associate and asked them why it was priced so high and why my negatives were in slide carriers. You probably figured it out by now, but it turns out I was using SLIDE FILM. My god, am I dumb. I should note that I bought about 9 of these rolls because they were priced at 50cents each, for the 'expiry' date was in May. I guess I just didn't read the label close enough. I am NEVER, EVER, developing any more slide film at the Budni. I would rather wait until I get home. That is just way too expensive. The plus side of this fiasco? SLIDE FILM IS AMAAAAZZZING! I pretty much love most of the results I got and I will be scanning them soon so I can put some up for you to see :)

I spent today sleeping past my alarm (deciding not to go to class anyhow because the prof is a dink and won't let me show anything if I'm late anyway. Fuck it), waking up to coffee and words of philosophy with Rubén, going to Karin's to see her place during the daylight and taking her back to my part of town to show her my place! We also had a yummy Chinese food dinner! Oh, what a good day!

So that is just a little update! Tomorrow I will pack, paint, and pen(?) / try to be as productive as possible before leaving.

lovexoxooxlove



(extreme happiness)

where did the time go?

Okay, so I suck at blogging. I will try harder :)

It has been close to a month since I have last posted something. I will try not to bore with everything that has happened since then, only the good stuff. The end of May came as quickly as it started. The weather started to get a lot warmer in Hamburg, which was a nice excuse to go shopping for summer clothes! But no worries, I ended up going to a really neat/cheap store called 'monki' that had a nice sale on: a graphic tank top for only 2,50 euro! And I may just have some goodies for some specials someones back home ;) Although I had to buy summer clothes (since it felt like the North Pole when I got here) I was/have been/still stressed about money. I have honestly not been extremely frivolous, but alas it is not easy to keep an eye on it. Therefore, I had to ask my parents to give me a hand. This will of course come with paying them back while working during school, but it is the price to pay for a once in a lifetime experience(?). No regrets.

The days leading up to my trip to Edinburgh were filled with grill parties in Stadt park, cooking dinners for friends, going out until 6am on a Friday then partying again the next night until 6am for Multi-Kulti. Crazy. Multi-Kulti is an event organized by having different 'nations' set up a flat that consists of decorations, games and food from their countries. I really enjoyed eating the food in Italy, France, and in Spain. I was also really fond of the jello shots in Scandinavia, 2 for 1 euro anyone? Oh, and can't forget the drinking games in Germany. Long night, for sure. Pictures soon.

Just came back from Scotland the other night, laaaate at night. Ryanair, oh ryanair, our flight was delayed for two hours so we did not make it back to Hamburg in time to catch the train home. Night buses and walking: not fun. BUT it was certainly worth it considering the round-trip was only 16 euro! And not to mention the city of Edinburgh is cute, amazing, and beautiful! Did a lot of walking around (keep in mind Edinburgh is quite hill-y), so this made for some sore feet by the end of the day, but it was worth it. I can't wait to develop my film! Went to two degree shows, one in Edinburgh and one in Glasgow. AMAZING!! Honestly, so inspiring. I only hope that my fourth year show can be as amazing as these talented students. Lots of ideas though. I will for sure be bringing them back to UBCO to show other fourth years. We will make this unforgettable.

So here I am now, still stressing about money, a little about school as well. But no matter because KARIN COMES TO HAMBURG IN TWO DAYS, HOLY SHIT!! Sooooo excited! THEN, we will make our way to FUSION!!! This month is going to go by so fast! I only hope a money transfer from home gets here quick so I can eat and pay rent! After Fusion ALEX will be coming back as well! Feels so good to think about seeing some friends from home(?) again, haha.

That is sort of all that is planned for now. I want to go to Stockholm and Copenhagen as soon as classes end, but I haven't booked those trips yet. But I have booked my flights for LONDON to see EMMA when she is home!! So stoked!! And then after all that it will be close to the end of July, oh and my birthday, and then it will be home time. But let's not discuss that yet....

I promise to post some more because there usually is some event or party going on to talk about how crazy me or other people are :)

P.S. Three words: World Cup insanity.

heartslove&morelove

Nicole



Scotish planes.

heute

slow day, long weekend

Party on Friday night = craziness. Dear lord. Not a nice headache the next day.

The next day, grilling in Stadt park with good friends! I don't know if it is just a European thing, or people in the Okanagan are just paranoid about any sort of burning in a park, but grilling is a really popular thing to do in the parks here in Hamburg! Everyone simply brings a portable grill that stands above the ground, you can also buy disposable grills (what! I know right?), only these grills have to be on another surface as to not burn the grass. Anyhow, get a group, some meat, veggies, chips, wine, beer, fun, songs, jokes, and you've got yourself an awesome day outside at the park! Only downer was the wind, but otherwise a bright, sunny day! I also happened to learn a Danish drinking song thanks to Nina!

In Danish:

Vi skåler med vore venner
og dem som vi kender
og dem som vi ikke kender
dem skåler vi med
SKÅÅÅÅL
SKÅÅÅÅL

which translates to:

We toast to our friends

Those who we know and

Those we do not know

Them we toast with

CHEERS!!

CHEERS!!

Today I basically relaxed, made some food and worked on some paintings. Tomorrow is a holiday in Germany, so no school, no groceries, no anything really. BUT, I will attempt to make pierogi ruskie from scratch! (Maybe I am being a little too ambitious with this cooking thing?) I figure if I can't make anything 'Canadian' that is interesting I will just dig to my roots and make some Polish food that I used to make with my granny! This evening I prepared the filling so I'm not stressed out while making the dough and the potato filling at the same time. Wish me luck!

Currently: trying to couchsurf for Edinburgh and Stockholm, jamming to JayZ (reminisce), as well as some Band of Horses (http://stream.bandofhorses.com/) ,check Evening Kitchen.

finfinfinfin.

♥

simple, but delicious little sunday brunch: scrambled eggs with left over meat from saturday grilling, yellow pepper, onion, spices + zwei sliceoftoast + coffee!!

Scheiße!

Time is flying! And so much has happened in the past couple of weeks.

On Monday I came back to Hamburg after two weeks of traveling. First, we made our way down to southern Germany with mitfahrgelegenheit , which is a carpool program. There we hung out in the small, university town of Erlangen where the weather was really nice and warm! For one of our days there we went to the town of Nürnberg which has a lot of old buildings and castles and altogether just cute, old Bavarian-ness. We then took the train up to Amsterdam, Netherlands. All I have to say is, crazy. Honestly, you do not need more than three days there. Our last full day there was Koninginnedag, or Queen's Day, which is the national holiday of Holland. If you've already seen my photos you can tell it is basically a huge mass of people, party, and orange. A little overwhelming to be honest, especially having been in Amsterdam for a couple days already, but nonetheless very entertaining and fun!

After Amsterdam I came back to Hamburg for all of 1.5 days, where I had only just enough time to be sick, do laundry and pack for Paris. STRESS. But I made it to my 8 am train on Tuesday morning, and I made my train connections successfully, and landed on Paris soil (or concrete?) safe and sound. I have to say, I was a little nervous about travelling to Paris alone, but in the end it turned out be an amazing and rewarding experience. I was on my own with a tiny map in this huge city but I made it around pretty well, because I had to. Independence growing. Also, I was able to go to all of the sights and museums that I wanted to go to without having to wait for anyone; on my own time, and the weather was also warm and amazing!

Highlights: + Staying in Paris for free. I stayed with my friend Ragnhild and her room mate Lisa, who made me some yummy risotto the first night I arrived, and for dessert we ate tiny delicious cakes from a bakery down the street. This really helped me to not be nervous about Paris, and to just be excited.

+ Château du Versailles. It was really quite interesting to see this massive place where French royalty used to live. The decor and furniture was ridiculous!

+ Museums in France are free for students who are studying in Europe! Louvre, Centre Pompidou, etc.

+ Two words: tiny cakes.

+ Seeing the Eiffel Tower. Surprisingly, I was quite awe-struck when I saw it. I hate to admit it, but seeing this famous piece of architecture in real life is crazy surreal. I mean, I can't even remember how long I have known about it?

+ A small, cute, old English bookstore called Shakespeare & Company. I went there very late at night, about 10 pm (it closes at 11) and it was very quiet, not a lot of people inside, so it was really nice to experience this hole in the wall store/library in Paris. Although I believe during the day it is very touristy. I ended up buying a book there in a sort of frantic. Turns out, it has been one of the best books I have ever purchased: 'Learning to Love You More' by Harrell Fletcher & Miranda July. Check it. P.S. pictures from this place soon, all on film.

I arrived back in Hamburg very late at night BUT I had a very nice surprise waiting for me outside my door: a package from my Mommy!! She had sent it before Easter and I JUST received it last week. It was filled with some soups (my favorite), tea, and LOTS of chocolate. So much happiness. This is actually the first thing I have received in the mail from Canada, and I am so happy for it!

Last night I saw DEADMAU5 live at Dock's. SO GOOD. Oh my. I'm not sure if it is the music or the people in Germany, but this show was so much more awesome than it would have been in a bar in B.C., especially Kelowna. People had way more respect, and care, and everyone just had a lot of fucking fun! But still, those of you who are seeing him in Kelowna or at Sasquatch are in for a treat!

So basically here I am now. Haven't been to school in two weeks, although I did spend the last couple of days painting in my room to have something to show next class. I dropped off a bunch of film a couple of days ago which should be ready for pickup on Monday. Now to find a scanner...

Also, before I left for Amsterdam, the cheap airline in Europe called 'Ryanair' had a really good seat sale. A lot of flights within Europe for only 3 Euro! I ended up booking a round trip to Edinburgh in June for only 16 Euro (incl taxes)!!!!! I'm so excited. But even as this trip has yet to happen, I am still trying to book at least two or three more trips.

If you have read all of this, truly, thank you. I should really be more brief, but I guess this also serves as a journal for myself of my exchange.

lovelovelovelovelove,

hamburg life

Again, it has been over two weeks since I last posted on this blog. I`ll try to keep it short and sweet.

Not a whole lot going on except more parties on the weekends, more wine, and more dancing. The days have just flown by though so it is hard to pinpoint what exactly happened when and where.

I finally had an appointment with my photography teacher the week before last to try to understand what the theme of the class was about. The class is called `Fremd` , which in English means `Strange`. Also, this particular class is based on portraits/people, so essentially humans have to be in the photographs. Basically what the professor was explaining to me was that the project is to photograph what you think is strange. He gave examples of ideas of other students: to photograph a group of transsexuals; to photograph students in their dorm whose rooms all look identical; to photograph `emos or punks`. Otherwise, many of the examples seem to require the ability to perhaps approach a `group` of people in Hamburg, which would also require the ability to speak German...which I don`t quite have. SO, I am thinking of possibly doing a self-portrait project on the strangenesses of culture shock and of being a foreigner in another country. In any case, I am still a little frustrated with this class. Maybe it is because I expect a lot from myself for photography...I hope I do alright...

At least photography is not my only class (can`t believe I am saying that...). On Monday this week I decided to give a fashion drawing class a try, `Modezeichnen` auf Deutsch. It was surprisingly very good! I went to the class with a couple of other international students who have gone before, so they were able to tell me what I should bring to class. When the prof began to explain on the chalkboard how to draw a simple fashion model template I was amazed and thrilled to realize that I could understand him! He was speaking in English!! Finally, a class where I don`t have to feel like a fool for not understanding the language. It was honestly so encouraging that I asked the teacher if I could join his class even though it had already been about 4 weeks since the first class, and the student count was already way past capacity, but he was very welcoming and let me join! Annnd that`s about all for school right now.

Last weekend I went to the Flohmarkt (Fleemarket) in Feldstrasse for the first time, which has now become one of my favorite places to go on Saturday mornings! This Flohmarkt is basically a giant garage sale only slightly more expensive because many of items are either vintage or antique. If you look around and dig deep however you can find a few cheap, cool things. I went this weekend as well because I can`t get enough of looking at old German things, and I learnt some ways of haggling for cheaper prices. The best way is to just have the money that you think is fair in one hand, the item you want in the other, and a motion to give them the money. Most can not resist the sight of money. So far I have picked up some old photographs, old postcards, vintage books, a scarf, and some developed 35 mm film - could be interesting to develop someone else's photographs.

Speaking of developing, turns out there is a darkroom located in my residency building. My friend Emma is going to be the person running the darkroom, and basically she is given some money to go and buy some chemicals to get the darkroom going! Awesome! A private darkroom only three floors down from my floor!

Last night I rearranged my room again. It is kind of refreshing to do so. Although I think I am going to keep it this way this time. My cabinet, closet thing took me about 15 mins to move about 3 feet by myself! Now I just need to put some more things on my wall.

So this will be my last blog post for a while. Tomorrow morning I am leaving for Erlangen, and then to Amsterdam later in the week, and I wont be back in Hamburg until May 2nd. Then, I have Sunday and Monday to do laundry and detox because I leave Hamburg again on May 4th to catch a train to.........PARIS!!!!!!!

Finally, oh god I`m excited! I will be going there for 6 nights and staying at the home of the lovely, generous, and kind Ragnhild from UBC Vancouver/Norway. I am so, so excited! Before I leave for Paris however, I am hoping to also make travel plans for Edinburgh, Scottland for June and also to Krakow, Poland.

Right. So, I must finish packing for tomorrow. I hate packing!

Missing everyone in Canada!!

Lovvvee,